When I captain my own spaceship after Earth implodes and we have to live on Mars, artamora will not be one of my passengers. Yeah, cos she said I was cute. Well, what I said that was cute. Lake is very angry with this but will get over it.

My sleep patterns have been less than optimal. Last night I had a colossal headache and I dropped off at ten. I wake up at almost 3am can't settle back down. It doesn't help that at four, the winos converge on my front stoop and smoke. And it doesn't help that I'm restless. 

Bruce rang me but I was too tired to answer, and I didn't want to have to deal with the bootycall-like conversation that would ensue. Men are right, women can have sex any time they want. Me, on the other hand, I am fickle so no. This week marks two years and seven months of my being superfrustrated, as I like to call it. Not that I am complainin' but I am complainin'! Every time I see that What about Brian commercial on ABC where that one guy says: "I haven't had sex in six months" I want to scream. I snarl and say, "get use to it, buckoo." Granted, mine is self-imposed but I'm not about to lay with some schmuck just cos. 

Humor me as I am sidetracked by a post on MSN Spaces about Race. Not gonna get into that one. Where was I? Uhm, yeah. I feel feeble and sick, not physically but emotionally. Not ready to be jumping into anything or causing someone heartache. Every time I am interested in a lad, I turn on myself, like an autoimmune disease. I hate myself for having feelings and wanting to be regular, cos, *shocker* I wasn't raised that way. Sometimes when people say they love me, I wonder what they want. Not with my friends though. Family, I mean. I send Tam emails that just say I love her and she shouldn't forget it. Cos, I am a coward and can't say it to her on the phone or face to face. We weren't an affectionate bunch when I was growing up. I think I was, can be, but I learned to be cold and unemotional. I want to be warm but it's difficult. If I learned anything from my stepdad, it was that I was never to be weak (My nana countered this by always babying me). Yesterday I asked the eternal questions I knew had answers but I was hoping someone else could tell me them.  Why am I like this? Why do I continue with irrational thoughts when I know the truth? Why, why why?

 Well then, regarding Scofield, Sucre and the lot of them...  
Readers, you will hear from me again. You have been warned. Not done asking why.

Nip/Tuck went back this morning. I wasn't sad, I just wanted my monedas back. I looked around and ended up buying a few items for the lamb because they had lambs on them and were in Spanish(gah, sometimes I wanna smack myself). I knew Tam would love them nevertheless. I am beyond tired right now. I watched about two hours of Mac and then went to sleep. Woke up in time to watch the last 30 minutes of the repeat of last week's VMars.

( Now, it's quiet, time for me to reflect. )

I finally got The Dreamers from the Library. Iunno if I wanna watch it though. I love Mike Pitt but if this is another Bully I'm gonna scream. Sex is okay, but gratuitous and unnecessary and unpoetic sex is garbage. Mmm Mpitt. Gawds, I love him. The nutcase lives here in Brooklyn but I've never seen him. True what they say about BK--3rd largest city in America (according to the Coney Island sign, that may or may not still exist).

I got Stitch n Bitch Nation so Imma see what stuff I can make. I already bought the original and made a cozy for my cell. Knitting has been a Powers-send. Ever since I went to the BPL and got the Knitting Goddess and self-taught I 've been in heaven. Coming from a crocheting background, it was fairly easy to learn.

Enough of that. Guess what I got? Holographic Yoda!

Just by fluke I went to the Times Square Toys R Us and found a beat up box. On ebay they're selling pricey. And I got Elrond!