No I'm not giving up. This is war. The song is streaming from 106.7 Lite FM. I'm working on the series right now, typing up another episode. Moe finally emails me back. Gah, she makes me feel happy whenever she emails. She's the last friend I have left it seems.
Apparently it's been a f-you kinda mentality going on between Sherri and my mother. Mother has been this way since I could remember but she had me fooled by the way she pretended everything was for me. Last week or so when I got the check from the state for her she made it clear I had to send it to her asap. Money, that's all she cares about. Sometimes you let people do things cuz you think they care but they don't. And I give them the benefit of the doubt. My own mother.
Electricity is close to $400 and after I talk to Sherri about conserving energy this morning at 4 am the light's burning. I go to toilet and I'm there for a good minute and the light's still on. It pisses me off to the nth degree. She cut off her dreads and I can't stand to look at her now. I know it's bad but I have no time to feel guilty about feelings for someone who is in cohoots with my mother to screw me over.
I'm not supposed to tell her that Mother sent the rent money back to me? What kind of shit is that?
Every day California is looking better and better. I talked to my cousin Arlene Saturday and I was jealous cuz she was heading to the beach. I can't wait til I can drive down to the coast and not think of anything for a bit.
It's really depressing that while I'm working so hard to further myself, my mother is trying to bring me down and keep me back. I can't believe she's smiling in my face and then doing ill shit behind my back. She calls this morning and I was irate cuz it was early telling me that the rent was due today. I said, I know. What the fuck was she calling me for? We talked about this just Tuesday. She repeated it and then got wind of my ire and said she was going to the post office today.
Would it be that bad if I said screw senior year and packed up my shit and went to Cali right now?
I think Mother's resentful Tam went to Minneapolis in June and she's further than ever. She has no right after setting up credit in her name and building negative credit on Tam's name. That's another story. I am so angry I have distance myself from Mother and Sherri so I don't say something I will regret. PTB save me.
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