Xmas was good. Guy and I stayed in. I woke up early(cos I don't sleep so good) and finished up his crochet hat, while he slept in. We didn't plan so well about dinner and all so we had about ten places open--all sushi/Chinese/Thai/Indian. So it was the fusion Asian place.( Collapse )
As for presents, we exchanged on Saturday and yesterday. Guy got a space-saver spice rack and the aforementioned hat. He got me a telephoto lens to go with a shiny DSLR camera. I campaigned long and hard for that shit, you don't even know. I even found deals and coupons and price matched for him. It's pretty, very entry-level so I can learn and wonderful.
It's been okay this year. I got to talk to my Granny and my Uncle and cousin(a 2 yr old!). It really got me that I couldn't reach my Mom and sis for a few days. They're in Spokane/Walla Walla, Washington. All of those conspiratorial suspicions came upon me again and my anxiety won over. Really, it was exhausting being down about not getting to talk to them. I did get a text from Sis and then a call from Mother late last night.
Since classes are over and I have no work, my will to go outside is gone. I talk myself out of going to the grocery store(we need
to do this) and sometimes out of leaving bed. I had a good day yesterday too. At bedtime I felt a wave of emptiness and despair shuffle in. I kept thinking, you
just ot a new camera and ate and spent the day with the two loves of your life. Everything's wonderful. Why are you sad?
Alas, anxiety don't work like that. I had to tell Guy this when he asked something similarly. I can't turn it off.
I've been staying away from eljay because I doubt folk want to read about my depressing shit. Really. It's exhausting to experience let alone read. I'll try to post upbeat stuff more often.
Well, I wish everyone had and has a good season into 2013.